My Top 3 Impostor Syndrome Tips
If I can do it, you can too! Probably not as well as me. Definitely not as well as me.
Last week when I wrote about impostor syndrome, I concluded that we need to stop telling women to get more confident, and instead work on fixing the systems that don’t support us.
I stand by that.
Yet I’m still a bit stuck on the whole impostor syndrome thing.
That’s because I have it bad. I have to acknowledge that it’s not always about the system; it’s often about not feeling like I’m good enough. To be fair, though, it’s often because of the system that I feel that way. Wait, which comes first?
How it all began for me
Case in point: My upbringing in a university town. It was easy to feel like you didn’t measure up around all those intelligent, educated high achievers.
On a trip to LA a few years ago, I had lunch in Beautiful Downtown Burbank with an elementary school classmate of my sister’s who’s now an actor. “I thought I was dumb till I left Urbana,” he told me, “and then I realized I wasn’t dumb.”
It wasn’t just me! Anyone could feel dumb in that environment! But we were supposed to be smart, so it was easy to end up feeling like an impostor.
My alternative high school didn’t help, as much as I loved it. Applicants were weeded out via tests, essays, and interviews (I need you to know I did not go to private school, though; the school belonged to a state university so was free to attend). But I felt out of place surrounded by chess-tournament-winning kids, some of whom got 800s on both parts of the SAT — how is that even possible?
I still have a photo of my small senior class arranged in front of our Hogwarts-like school building. We were being photographed for a story about future Nobel Prize winners, because several past winners had attended our school. What was I doing there?
How to be the best impostor
As you can see, my long career as an impostor began when I was young. Now that I’ve established my bona fides, I’d like to offer my top 3 tips for being the best impostor you can be.
1. Question your educational successes
You may not have the advantage of a nerdy high school like mine. And let’s face it — if you’re reading this, your high school years are probably behind you. But education doesn’t stop with high school, and neither do your opportunities to practice being an impostor. Simply question your successes in any class you take and wonder whether you belong there.
Examples from a pro:
Say French came easily to you in high school and you didn’t have to study much to do well. Feel like an impostor every year when you’re tested and win some statewide prize, because you didn’t work hard enough and can’t speak French that well. On a visit to Paris 45 years later, feel like an impostor even as you order food in restaurants in (barely passable) French and give two French people directions they asked for.
When John Bergez, aka the Bay Area editing god, announces to your editing class that you’ve gotten the first A on an assignment, assume it’s just because you had more time to work on it; you’re a freelancer, whereas most people in the class have full-time jobs. It’s not that you’re particularly good at editing.
Remain convinced that you only got a Green Project Management Fundamentals Award for your work in a course on sustainability and project management because the teacher wanted an in with your employer.
2. Question your successes at work
If you’re not a lifelong learner, no worries. Today’s work world provides more opportunities than ever to feel like an impostor — especially if you’re a woman.
Examples from a pro:
Get into tech with little related experience, sort of by accident, during the dot-com boom, when barriers to entry are low. The fact that you’re never fired for not being technical enough leaves you feeling you’ve really pulled one over on the tech world. Never mind that you actually aren’t bad at your job. You could even say you’re pretty good at it.
When you make a career transition into clean energy, write daily news for an online solar publication without knowing much about solar or journalism. Your job also involves things you’ve merely dabbled in before or never done, like managing social media, writing blog posts, sending newsletters, even writing a speech. Somehow, you do it all, but you feel like an impostor in the solar industry and in marketing and communications because you’ve been winging it.
Start a blog back in 2010. At work, write all the stuff mentioned above and more. Have articles published at clean-energy media outlets. Write weekly Substack posts for over two years. But who are you kidding? How can you say you’re a writer? These days, anyone can throw a bunch of words out onto the internet.
3. Don’t limit impostor syndrome to school and work
Chances are, you can relate to at least some of these experiences. Maybe you can’t — and if so, I don’t want to hear about it. No, really, tell me about it. I’m curious to meet someone who’s never felt this stuff.
Whatever your experience, you might notice that my examples so far have something in common: they’re all about education and work. Just Google “impostor syndrome,” and you’ll get a long list of business-related results.
But you don’t have to limit impostor syndrome to these areas. I have news for you: You can feel like an impostor anywhere! Anytime!
Examples from a pro:
Lose over 30 pounds following a plan called Bright Line Eating. But when you interact with others doing the plan, always feel like an impostor, because you don’t have an eating disorder and haven’t dieted all your life like most of them.
When you go to your first ayahuasca ceremony, feel like an impostor because you don’t speak New Age or wear flowing white robes. After six or seven ceremonies, still feel this way. You find the ceremonies magical and valuable, but you never feel like you’re doing them right or getting as much out of them as everyone else is. You clearly don’t belong there.
Feel the same way when you go to Vipassana meditation retreats. You aren’t a daily meditator, and you never feel blissful while meditating, as some people apparently do.
You can do it!
I hope you find these tips helpful. You may not have my advantage of starting young, but it’s never too late to become an impostor!
Of course, you’ll never be as good as I am. Whatever your situation, I know I’m actually worse at everything than you are and therefore more of an impostor. You may feel like an impostor; I actually am.
That’s the one area in which I’m confident I’m not an impostor: being an impostor.
Thank you. I’ll be here all week.
I guess the ultimate goal is to feel like an impostor at an imposter syndrome support group!