Wow. Rosana. I had no idea anyone felt this way about Forager. Thank you for reading. It’s a pleasure to meet you here on Substack and read your work. I’m happy to respond with some thoughts later, if you or your readers would be interested. Thank you for sharing my work, and also for writing such a thoughtful conversation about what it means for any of us to be resilient in our current culture. More soon, if you desire it.
I am so honored that you read and commented on this! I'm sure many people feel as I do — how could they not? Your book is so powerful and so beautifully written. I feel a bit silly thinking how any of it applies to my life, which has been so easy, as human lives go. I would LOVE to hear more of your thoughts, whenever you have a chance!! I know I feel like I have a lot more to say about this, too — and I might just do that in future posts, someday. I didn't even really get into how the relative comfort and convenience of life in the U.S. (though of course, many people are struggling) has led to complacency and a lack of willingness to make sacrifices for the greater good ...
What experiences have made me stronger? The premature death of my husband to cancer has helped me recognize the resilience I've always had deep within me and has made me, I think, a more understanding, kinder person. I don't know if that qualifies as "made you stronger," depends on your definition.
I think we do need some adversity to see & believe in our own strength, but *childhood adversity* is not necessarily the thing that's going to prepare us for real life. Too many ACEs can create adults who are *less* able to deal with the problems of life.
A related quote from Carl Jung: "Real life is always tragic, and those who do not know this have never lived."
Definitely — children should be loved, supported, and made to feel safe. Having a rough childhood can be, and often is, damaging.
I'm thankful for my stable childhood. What I would have liked is lessons in dealing with adversity, and with discomfort in general.
I kind of packed a lot into this one. There's the comfort part, on a personal level. There's also a part I didn't touch on much about how our prioritizing of comfort and convenience as a society hasn't prepared us to deal with the crises of our day. And then there's the part I keep coming back to: that unanswerable question of what I would have been like if I'd grown up in different circumstances.
It really sucks that you gained that understanding of your own resilience through such a terrible experience. As long as I've known you, though, you've always been understanding and kind. ❤️
Sometimes when we feel sad or anxious we think, “something’s wrong, I’ve got to get back to feeling happy again!” As if happiness is the only acceptable state, and everything else is an aberration. I guess a lot of the messaging we’ve absorbed makes us feel like we should always be happy, but the reality of life is that no one state of mind is permanent; we’re constantly riding a wave up and down and that IS life. To accept that and just BE with whatever you’re feeling is not easy, but ultimately is needed for resilience.
So true! Of course we want to feel happy, but the only way around sadness is through it. I say this as someone who often does try to escape; I have to remind myself to feel what I feel. But one good thing about getting older is that we have a solid sense of how fleeting everything is, including negative emotions.
I was literally just reflecting on my now comfort with comfort having spent decades striving against discomfort to “grow all the way up” We’re never alone are we. The finding of that sweet spot between will and being seems the key right now. Pausing forward with urgency …
Yes — as with so much in life, it's a matter of finding the balance. I will always love comfort! And pushing past where we're comfortable is so necessary, too. Thanks so much for reading and commenting — and helping me, too, feel less alone.
Wow. Rosana. I had no idea anyone felt this way about Forager. Thank you for reading. It’s a pleasure to meet you here on Substack and read your work. I’m happy to respond with some thoughts later, if you or your readers would be interested. Thank you for sharing my work, and also for writing such a thoughtful conversation about what it means for any of us to be resilient in our current culture. More soon, if you desire it.
I am so honored that you read and commented on this! I'm sure many people feel as I do — how could they not? Your book is so powerful and so beautifully written. I feel a bit silly thinking how any of it applies to my life, which has been so easy, as human lives go. I would LOVE to hear more of your thoughts, whenever you have a chance!! I know I feel like I have a lot more to say about this, too — and I might just do that in future posts, someday. I didn't even really get into how the relative comfort and convenience of life in the U.S. (though of course, many people are struggling) has led to complacency and a lack of willingness to make sacrifices for the greater good ...
“Comfort is the enemy of progress. “ — P. T. Barnum. And that seems to apply to individuals and societies. Now where is that cat? I need to cuddle.
And here I thought you’d find a Nietzsche quote!
What experiences have made me stronger? The premature death of my husband to cancer has helped me recognize the resilience I've always had deep within me and has made me, I think, a more understanding, kinder person. I don't know if that qualifies as "made you stronger," depends on your definition.
I think we do need some adversity to see & believe in our own strength, but *childhood adversity* is not necessarily the thing that's going to prepare us for real life. Too many ACEs can create adults who are *less* able to deal with the problems of life.
A related quote from Carl Jung: "Real life is always tragic, and those who do not know this have never lived."
Definitely — children should be loved, supported, and made to feel safe. Having a rough childhood can be, and often is, damaging.
I'm thankful for my stable childhood. What I would have liked is lessons in dealing with adversity, and with discomfort in general.
I kind of packed a lot into this one. There's the comfort part, on a personal level. There's also a part I didn't touch on much about how our prioritizing of comfort and convenience as a society hasn't prepared us to deal with the crises of our day. And then there's the part I keep coming back to: that unanswerable question of what I would have been like if I'd grown up in different circumstances.
It really sucks that you gained that understanding of your own resilience through such a terrible experience. As long as I've known you, though, you've always been understanding and kind. ❤️
Sometimes when we feel sad or anxious we think, “something’s wrong, I’ve got to get back to feeling happy again!” As if happiness is the only acceptable state, and everything else is an aberration. I guess a lot of the messaging we’ve absorbed makes us feel like we should always be happy, but the reality of life is that no one state of mind is permanent; we’re constantly riding a wave up and down and that IS life. To accept that and just BE with whatever you’re feeling is not easy, but ultimately is needed for resilience.
So true! Of course we want to feel happy, but the only way around sadness is through it. I say this as someone who often does try to escape; I have to remind myself to feel what I feel. But one good thing about getting older is that we have a solid sense of how fleeting everything is, including negative emotions.
I was literally just reflecting on my now comfort with comfort having spent decades striving against discomfort to “grow all the way up” We’re never alone are we. The finding of that sweet spot between will and being seems the key right now. Pausing forward with urgency …
Yes — as with so much in life, it's a matter of finding the balance. I will always love comfort! And pushing past where we're comfortable is so necessary, too. Thanks so much for reading and commenting — and helping me, too, feel less alone.