Such a wonderful article, Rosana. I remember meeting Flora at your wedding and having a few words with her, I think I might've even had a dance with her, I think she grabbed my butt and then told me she saw a fly parked there. I don't see my father that often but every time I see him I record him telling us stories of his life growing up in Italy during WWII, his struggles, then moving to Venezuela and meeting my mom and the struggles of racing us. I love hearing all those stories. They actually never leave us, it's been six years since my mom passed and I still feel her presence everyday.
I remember the similarities when I learned about Rafael's brother.
I find it very sad that there was so little advances in support between my uncle's birth and that of Danny. I know that my life, and that of so many others, was enriched by my uncle. I think of the sacrifices of the mothers, and also the fathers and siblings of those with handicaps.
My mom had many stories about how her parents were shunned by their siblings and parents for keeping my Uncle Bob. And giving him the traditional oldest grandson name was the last straw for many. My grandparents fought for his rights & those like him.
I still can't believe that someone with Down Syndrome was in a mainstream classroom during WWII! (It helped that there were 70+ kids in a first grade classroom, and that 70+ plus one with Down Syndrome and a free experienced teacher was an easy sell. I never heard of other parents complaining from my mom.)
Bobby was a great ambassador during his life. The only time he spent in state care was when my oldest sister was born. My grandparents didn't want to burden my parents with his care, and they were getting old. It only took a few months before they brought him home again. They kept him with them until they'd developed a branch of ARC in the neighboring city, then in their town, helped get several homes built in the neighboring city, and then placed him in the 2nd home in their town, as they entered assisted living then nursing care. He died in that home, at age 67, unheard of for those born in 1937!
That said, it's complicated. Mom became an adult much earlier - taking her first solo train trip from Chicago to Minneapolis before she was 7! Her mom was focused on Bobby's health and development, and her dad on finances. For a while, my grandparents, my great-grandfather, a great-aunt, Mom & Bobby all lived in a 2 bedroom house.
We, individually and as a society, owe a lot to those mothers who pushed the envelope!
Thanks so much for sharing the story about your uncle! He sounds like a remarkable and cool person — and he did live long, wow! It is definitely complicated. I know the other boys suffered when so much attention and care was suddenly diverted to Danny. The truth is that no one really knew how to handle the situation in those days, and Flora and Lorenzo did the best they could. Danny was pretty low-functioning compared to some people with Down Syndrome, at least the actors we're starting to see on some shows now (which is great). I know it was a big challenge for Flora to care for him so much for so long, but it was a challenge she took on gladly.
Thank you, Rosana! I appreciate the touching and honest assessment. How indeed does one sum up a life? Words seem ethereal next to all-too ephemeral nature of a life. Yet, photos and images and memories seem to be all we have in the end. Oddly, right now, only a few weeks since my mom died, I have a sense that she somehow continues in an existence in me. I suppose this is natural. But I have to admit that I didn't really feel that until after she died. Maybe it's a reflection of my own lack of capability. Or maybe mortality makes the loss of a life somehow more internally living. It's hard to describe in words. But I thank you for yours.
Such a wonderful article, Rosana. I remember meeting Flora at your wedding and having a few words with her, I think I might've even had a dance with her, I think she grabbed my butt and then told me she saw a fly parked there. I don't see my father that often but every time I see him I record him telling us stories of his life growing up in Italy during WWII, his struggles, then moving to Venezuela and meeting my mom and the struggles of racing us. I love hearing all those stories. They actually never leave us, it's been six years since my mom passed and I still feel her presence everyday.
LOL!! And it's so true that people remain with us, especially our parents.
I remember the similarities when I learned about Rafael's brother.
I find it very sad that there was so little advances in support between my uncle's birth and that of Danny. I know that my life, and that of so many others, was enriched by my uncle. I think of the sacrifices of the mothers, and also the fathers and siblings of those with handicaps.
My mom had many stories about how her parents were shunned by their siblings and parents for keeping my Uncle Bob. And giving him the traditional oldest grandson name was the last straw for many. My grandparents fought for his rights & those like him.
I still can't believe that someone with Down Syndrome was in a mainstream classroom during WWII! (It helped that there were 70+ kids in a first grade classroom, and that 70+ plus one with Down Syndrome and a free experienced teacher was an easy sell. I never heard of other parents complaining from my mom.)
Bobby was a great ambassador during his life. The only time he spent in state care was when my oldest sister was born. My grandparents didn't want to burden my parents with his care, and they were getting old. It only took a few months before they brought him home again. They kept him with them until they'd developed a branch of ARC in the neighboring city, then in their town, helped get several homes built in the neighboring city, and then placed him in the 2nd home in their town, as they entered assisted living then nursing care. He died in that home, at age 67, unheard of for those born in 1937!
That said, it's complicated. Mom became an adult much earlier - taking her first solo train trip from Chicago to Minneapolis before she was 7! Her mom was focused on Bobby's health and development, and her dad on finances. For a while, my grandparents, my great-grandfather, a great-aunt, Mom & Bobby all lived in a 2 bedroom house.
We, individually and as a society, owe a lot to those mothers who pushed the envelope!
Thank you for sharing about Maria Flora!
Thanks so much for sharing the story about your uncle! He sounds like a remarkable and cool person — and he did live long, wow! It is definitely complicated. I know the other boys suffered when so much attention and care was suddenly diverted to Danny. The truth is that no one really knew how to handle the situation in those days, and Flora and Lorenzo did the best they could. Danny was pretty low-functioning compared to some people with Down Syndrome, at least the actors we're starting to see on some shows now (which is great). I know it was a big challenge for Flora to care for him so much for so long, but it was a challenge she took on gladly.
A lovely piece, Rosana. Thanks so much for sharing it.
Thanks, Adam!!
Thank you, Rosana! I appreciate the touching and honest assessment. How indeed does one sum up a life? Words seem ethereal next to all-too ephemeral nature of a life. Yet, photos and images and memories seem to be all we have in the end. Oddly, right now, only a few weeks since my mom died, I have a sense that she somehow continues in an existence in me. I suppose this is natural. But I have to admit that I didn't really feel that until after she died. Maybe it's a reflection of my own lack of capability. Or maybe mortality makes the loss of a life somehow more internally living. It's hard to describe in words. But I thank you for yours.
Thank you! People do continue living with us when we die, even friends — and parents all the more so, since we really do contain parts of them.
Rosana, such a loving portrait of Flora M. Olivas. I loved the photos and the video. My thoughts are with you and Rafael. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Vince!
Muuuyyy movilizador para mi!
Yo también soy cuidadora completamente sola hoy de una persona con discapacidad.
Hermoso que puedas escribir así sobre tu suegra , aún cuando haya sido difícil la relación por momentos. Te felicito! Muy inspirador ❤️
Muchisimas gracias, Irene! No es facil cuidar a las personas con discapacidad — o escribir de ellos!
Thank you, once again, Rosana. That was quite wonderful...kind, honest, and illuminating.
Thank you so much, Sue!!
Beautiful
Thank you, Nancy!!