Let Me Sleep!
And you get yourself some sleep, too.
Ever since Elon took over the platform formerly known as Twitter, random sex workers have been appearing in my feed. It’s kind of illuminating to get this unbidden glimpse into the world of “companions,” “providers,” and “purveyors of carnal delights.” Maybe I should have realized there’s a whole set of women for hire going out to fancy restaurants, exploring Disney World at night, skiing, and hanging out in upscale hotels, but it wasn’t really on my radar. I mean, you can’t tell who they are when you’re out in public. At least, I can’t. To be fair, I’ve never looked for them.
These women seem to be having a great time being wined, dined, and flown around the country — and, you know, other things. They’re workers, so like all of us, they have to put up with some shit from time to time. And, like all of us, they have basic needs.
I was reminded of this recently when one of them tweeted:
If you know that you snore, please be respectful and book your companion an extra room! Otherwise, she will likely disappear in the night and pop back up early in the morning with an additional invoice for you. Beautiful women weren’t put here to suffer.
The additional invoice she referred to was for an extra room, so she could sleep. But some people weren’t down with this, which led to a follow-up tweet:
If you are upset that a person you are spending time with needs to be able to sleep, a basic human need for normal daily function, you are not a person for me. I do not have two spare days to recalibrate my sleep and recover from an overnight.
A woman after my own heart! Though you don’t have to be beautiful to deserve not to suffer.
I guard my sleep closely. I keep our bedroom as dark as I can; I usually open the window at night; I try to get to bed at a reasonable hour. I don’t read, watch TV, or use my phone in the bedroom. When I travel, I take an eye shade, ear plugs, and an Ambien-melatonin cocktail. I don’t leave my sleep to chance.
I won’t work for an international company; I’ve had enough 7am meetings, thank you. I’m very fortunate not to have to use an alarm clock and usually wake up between 7 and 8am.
It’s not just my age, though that doesn’t help. In my senior year of college, I realized I did best on nine hours a night, and I stopped pulling all-nighters. Do I get my ideal nine hours these days? Rarely. But I generally manage a solid eight.
Okay, I’m a delicate flower. If I stay up past midnight — to be honest, even past 11pm these days — it takes me days to recover. Why put myself through that?
It doesn’t help that I’m a light sleeper who will wake at the slightest sound and can’t get to sleep if it’s noisy. I have a recurring dream that takes many forms but always features someone or ones making noise that keeps me awake when I want to sleep. I wake up from those dreams angry and frustrated. I don’t feel seen.
Why do I constantly have to defend sleep? The truth is, everyone needs a good night’s sleep, not just the delicate flowers like myself; I may be weird, but needing sleep is normal. Most Americans, though, have convinced themselves they can cut corners on sleep. They’re wrong.
Sleep is non-negotiable. Essential. The foundation of health and happiness.
Sleep is as key to your health as a good diet and exercise — maybe even more so. That’s what Matthew Walker argues in his book Why We Sleep, a book that made me feel vindicated. And seen. I can’t verify his science, but I do think he’s onto something. (If you don’t want to read the whole book, you can get a little taste from his TED Talk.)
Apparently you can survive for three days without water and three weeks without food. But only a few people have attempted to stay awake for days at a time. Guinness World Records discontinued monitoring these attempts in part because of their inherent dangers and in part because staying awake for long stretches isn’t really possible; people who try it experience “microsleeps,” falling asleep for a few seconds without being aware they’re asleep.
You’ve probably noticed you do better on a test if you’ve had a good night’s sleep. You might be aware that your brain functions better and you’re less likely to get sick if you sleep enough. Did you know that driving sleepy is at least as dangerous as driving drunk? That vaccines can work better when you’re well slept?
Sleep is not a nice-to-have.
Yet Americans are chronically underslept. Sleep is not a priority for us; work is.
I had a boss who claimed she needed only four hours of sleep a night. While there are a few anomalous individuals who can get by on little sleep, they are in fact anomalous. Like most people who think they need less sleep, my boss was fooling herself; I’d routinely find her dozing off at her desk.
Why did she insist on sleeping so little? There was just too much to do, she protested.
We know Americans work too much. Our capitalist system tries to squeeze as much out of us as possible without giving us the supports that many Europeans have, such as good public transit, affordable childcare, and lengthy vacations. It’s no wonder people resent the time they must devote to sleep.
But most Americans don’t realize what their lack of sleep is doing to them. In addition to causing anxiety and depression, it’s contributing to conditions like obesity, heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and dementia. Those are the most obvious consequences; people who aren’t visibly sick may be experiencing physical and cognitive impairments they’re not even aware of.
Twice a year, Americans become slightly more aware of these issues. This week is one of those times when a one-hour jet lag hits our entire population (except Arizona, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, and a few other islands), as we set our clocks back or forward.
Where will it end? In these difficult times, sleep is more critical than ever. We need to take care of ourselves so we have the energy to fight fascism. Everyone I talk to is more tired than usual these days; I have a feeling the unremitting barrage of craziness is wearing us out. All the more reason to prioritize sleep.
So, don’t tell me you’ll sleep when you’re dead — or you may be dead sooner than you’d hoped. Just kidding. Sort of.
Sleep is a serious thing. But in these all-too-serious times, we need some lightheartedness. So I’ll leave you with this upbeat yet heartfelt song by my good friend and talented songwriter, Edie O’Hara. She understands the importance of sleep.
You can find more of Edie’s songs here on Bandcamp. Some of my favorites: Dirty Rotten Kids, Finding My Way Back Home, Following Me, Everything’s Different, One Precious Summer. But there are so many good ones — check them out!
The inconvenience invoice charge for snoring! Maybe I can buy some snore credits in advance and redeem them when needed.
Yes to sleep! It took me so long to understand its importance, but now that I do, I'm never going back!