Love this framing of casual vs formal as a tool for frequency over perfection. The scruffy hospitality concept really captures something I've noticed in tech environments where the best connections happen over random slack hangouts not quarterly all-hands dinners. Makes me wanna ditch the mental load of coordinating everything and just invite folks over tonite.
Wonderful, I hope you'll do that — if not tonight, another time soon! Let me know how it goes. And that's an interesting connection to the workplace. I've worked in tech too, and I think our team bonded more during the dot-com boom when we had plenty of time to have frequent lunches together.
This made me smile. I tend toward a little more formal in that if I’m inviting people over it’s planned and I spend hours stressing out about the menu. But at the end of the day, I’m opening the door in jeans. Kind of a blend.
Also, I must be in a curmudgeon phase - right now life is so busy that I don’t want anyone coming to my house. We have a financial planner we’re interviewing coming to the house because as she puts it “It makes people more comfortable.” It doesn’t make me more comfortable! Come to think of it - I’ll look for somewhere else to meet…
What you're experiencing speaks to the fact that we're all so indoctrinated about what our homes need to look like before we bring people into them. But yeah, I'd just as soon meet a financial planner elsewhere. We've only met ours over Zoom and that's been fine!
For me, it's scruffy hospitality or nothing. I might put a tablecloth on the table or arrange some flowers or use the good china, but my house is always on the verge of chaos.
You're way ahead of me with the flowers and good china, lol! Hideko, thanks for your comment — and I hope we will meet up one of these years at your house or mine. ❤️
Quick reaction to your foreword and fascism's tendency towards formality: fascism hides behind it! It counts on the masses sticking to rigid, ceremonial structures of life, rather than resisting. Yes, down with formality!
Love this framing of casual vs formal as a tool for frequency over perfection. The scruffy hospitality concept really captures something I've noticed in tech environments where the best connections happen over random slack hangouts not quarterly all-hands dinners. Makes me wanna ditch the mental load of coordinating everything and just invite folks over tonite.
Wonderful, I hope you'll do that — if not tonight, another time soon! Let me know how it goes. And that's an interesting connection to the workplace. I've worked in tech too, and I think our team bonded more during the dot-com boom when we had plenty of time to have frequent lunches together.
This made me smile. I tend toward a little more formal in that if I’m inviting people over it’s planned and I spend hours stressing out about the menu. But at the end of the day, I’m opening the door in jeans. Kind of a blend.
Also, I must be in a curmudgeon phase - right now life is so busy that I don’t want anyone coming to my house. We have a financial planner we’re interviewing coming to the house because as she puts it “It makes people more comfortable.” It doesn’t make me more comfortable! Come to think of it - I’ll look for somewhere else to meet…
What you're experiencing speaks to the fact that we're all so indoctrinated about what our homes need to look like before we bring people into them. But yeah, I'd just as soon meet a financial planner elsewhere. We've only met ours over Zoom and that's been fine!
For me, it's scruffy hospitality or nothing. I might put a tablecloth on the table or arrange some flowers or use the good china, but my house is always on the verge of chaos.
You're way ahead of me with the flowers and good china, lol! Hideko, thanks for your comment — and I hope we will meet up one of these years at your house or mine. ❤️
Hopefully, we’ll get to do some casual weekday hikes once you’re retired!
Or even before then!
Quick reaction to your foreword and fascism's tendency towards formality: fascism hides behind it! It counts on the masses sticking to rigid, ceremonial structures of life, rather than resisting. Yes, down with formality!
Very good point — thanks, Nicole!!